This story has a sad ending, but for me it feels better telling it.

Last July, I was scrolling through the random list on icq. I did that a lot when bored but usually didn't message anyone just was interested in seeing who was on and what their interests were. I saw this name Dave pop up and he was from Australia, so I figured what did I have to lose? I messaged him with a Hello how are you and he answered me with an I was just ready to bail, add me and we'll meet up later.

So I added him and I think it was two weeks or more before we made connections. Our times are so different, but when we connected, we connected. We spent two hours a morning for me, night for him on icq every day but Sunday. We told each other about ourselves and had so much in common. I'm married, but unhappy, have an abusive husband, and he wanted to show me that all men weren't bad and still remain himself. He did a very good job. We became so close, we had a little game going, a kiss for every time I made him laugh and a hug for a smile. And according to him I got lots of hugs and kisses, because he laughed and smiled a lot with me.

Then came the day he told me the news that he had what was thought to be lung cancer which was yet to be confirmed. He said since we were being honest with each other he had to tell me. Well I told him to think positive, that he had to get well, we had a date to meet up with each other here in the states and collect on all those hugs and kisses. And he was working so hard to get well so we could do just that.

He kept me informed of his treatment, the times when he was in the hospital for his chemo and then his radiation, we kept in touch all that time, and he was so hopeful, the original tumor had shrunk a lot, but was still connected to his rib, and then there were spots in the other lung, but after the first of this year they were going to start a new treatment to continue shrinking the oringinal tumor and clear up the other so they could operate. The last message I had from him was in Dec. He bought a house and we had managed to have some time together to discuss what would be happening. He would be off line for a while during the move and then the holidays, and would start the treatment, but hoped to be back on by mid January. I never heard from him again, I tried sending e-mails, and messages, but never got an answer, I couldn't believe he would just forget about me, so I knew something was wrong. I haven't gotten all the details yet, but finally a friend got!!

one of my icq messages on Dave's number and told me he had passed away about a month ago. I had a feeling about that time, stronger than at other times that I needed to find out about him. Well I know, but I don't know if it's better knowing or not knowing, at least before I had some hope that he was doing ok, and I'd hear from him again someday, now there isn't any. All dreams of our date are gone, we used to look so forward to that. He'd say just let me get over this hiccup first and I'll make plans to travel to the US. Well, the dream is over for me, I know he is in a better place. I miss him.

Copyright ... Honey